Armpit hair

Today, as I was in process of being re-hired by the company I work for, I was invited to produce hair, so that I could prove that I am not a consumer of illegal drugs. My work apparently isn't good for them. The unbroken stretch of 7 years that I've worked at this location in this job apparently wasn't enough for them.

So I had to produce hair.

I could have refused. My politics demanded it.

My creditors felt otherwise.

So I submitted to this procedure. Recently. Long after I've become officially bald, I began shaving my head. Its a look. I guessed it fit me. When I found I had been rehired, and needed to submit to a drug test... I started growing my side-of-head hair out. Its now about 1/4 to 1/2 an inch long.

The nurse at work who was administering the test felt that this was not near enough to the inch and a half length required for the test.

So I had to take my shirt off.

She snipped my underarm hair. Again. And Again. This was not enough so she snipped more. This still being insufficient, she snipped from beneath the other arm. And again. And again. Etc. Each time pulling just a bit, then cutting.

Still insufficient.

New nurse. This time the head hair was ok. So they took some. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. My hair is thin. And more.

They wrapped it. Signed for it for a chain of evidence. Then I signed for it. I said "Send the armpit hair too." But it was too late. They'd changed the form back to read, head hair, or something to that effect, after having originally said it was armpit hair.

Then they threw my armpit hair away and mailed the rest to the lab.